Its been a while, to say the least. I have wondered to hell and back and finally ended up where I started. After months and months of wondering if I would ever find myself in the endless abyss of misery I had been drowning in, I woke up one morning in my own home, with two beautiful angels that I call my children. When I feel like I can't go on, I look at them and through the tears of joy running down my cheeks I see the reason for carrying on. They are my life and my everything, my reason for being. Nothing that has happened in the past can ever make me regret having them and no matter how hard it is to be alone, to raise them alone, I know that I will find the strength to do it all just because they are there.
And today I find myself in an office environment once again but what an office!! The atmosphere is relaxed, peaceful even when busy, and I enjoy coming to work and never find myself watching the clock waiting to go home. Granted, I have only been here little over two weeks but it feels as though I have been here for years. The day I walked in to start working, I was already at home. How blessed I am to have an office to myself, the most awesome boss alive and a job I can enjoy. Never did I envision working for a construction company, always thought they would be so full of nonsense, but it is not like that at all. The people who walk in and out of this office every day bring a smile to my face and help to heal the wound that is my broken soul. Every friendly smile, greeting, handshake and hug brings just a little bit more of me back to life. Who knows, one day soon I may be back to my old self...only much better because now I have two lovely little munchkins that fill my heart and make my life a brighter place.
Perhaps I will even be able to start writing again. I have found my voice again and am slowly starting to sing so maybe the writing isn't so far off.