Monday, February 26, 2007

I'm BACK!!!!

Hey everyone, check it out! For one short day I am all alone here in the office and I have all the time to write on my blog, check up on all the entries y'all wrote and just get some me-time in! I am really stoked 'cause I leave in 7 days and I have already cleared out my apartment, moved into a spare room and will be leaving town on Wednesday to go up to the farm for a few days before taking off to England. What a month this has been!!!

All its ups and downs, uncertainties and worries, all the doubts and hopes and dreams. And now it is all happening really soon. I was just remarking last night that the other day I was wishing for January to go by and its now the end of February and my flight date is just around the corner. And then the real adventure starts! And I will be able to prove to everyone that I will make a success of my trip, I WILL do it despite the doubts people have expressed and the negative input I have received. I have also got some really positive input and there are people that really believe in me and I value that, because without it I wouldn't have been able to manage all the stress.

I was going through old photographs the other day and came across one of me and my younger sister. It brought back floods of we went madly careening down the hill on our skateboards and came back up with skinned and bloodied knees and elbows and big grins, how we spent long summer afternoons climbing huge trees lining our driveway and waiting for my dad to come home from work, how we cycled around the farm like mad caps shrieking with laughter at silly jokes and witticisms, how we spent almost all our time together having fun. I think back on those times and I miss them, almost wish I could turn back the clock and have those times all over again.

Then I look at my suitcase, filled with things to take with me to England, and I feel thrilled to have this opportunity to make something of my life, do something exciting and challenging. Show people that I can make this work, that I will make it work. I love challenges, they help me to grow stronger and develop character. One day I hope to look back on this day with a smile and remember how I felt and what I thought.

Memory lane is a wonderful place to wander down...takes me back to not only happy times but the sad times as well. The times when I learned life lessons, the times when people walked in and out of my life. During these wanderings I often stop to think about what other people must think of they remember me? Do they remember me?
Sobering thought....what sort of an impact have I made on the people around me? What sort of an example have I been?

Its raining now and I am becoming nostalgic so before I sprout too many secrets I am off!
Take care everyone!!!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

New Feeling!

I just got my hair cut this afternoon during lunch time and its amazing what just a simple haircut can do to your lagging spirits! I feel all light and flirty and happy and just awesome!!!
My hair is now fluttering around my face, tickling my nose and brushing around my ears whilst blowing wildly in the breeze. Its just totally cool. I haven't had my hair cut for months and months and it just feels great to have my hair feeling so healthy again. Plus it smells amazing ~chuckle~

Oh well, I just thought I'd write it up since its such a treat for me to get my hair cut in a salon. Pardon me for boring you all but I get these little moments.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Shiny Happy People

I made a mistake...I blinked! Now I am staring at the calender and noticing that in two short weeks I leave all that I am used to and head into strange territory. BRING IT ON!!!

I have so little time on the computer nowadays and its sure showing on my blog, isn't it? I miss my writing but hey, soon I will be settled in again and then I will make sure to write a lot! In fact, you won't even notice I'm in a different country...well, perhaps you will since I will be writing mostly about my experiences there :o) However, I will be writing regularly again which will be fun.

And as a going away gift, the newspaper printed yet another one of my poems. On valentines day!! That was pretty awesome and I am glad to see that people are still reading my work and enjoying it.

I was asked if I ever write the poems for someone, since I write mostly love poems, but I don't. I suppose its just my romantic nature coming out, my ideas of what it would be like to be loved, or how I feel about love. Sometimes I write ridiculous poems, sometimes Afrikaans ones, sometimes silly ones. Its all about what is going on in my mind and heart at the time when I write. I might dedicate my poems to people sometimes, but I never write them whilst keeping someone in mind. I can't concentrate that way.

Writing my stories is a completely different matter, though :o)

I haven't even had any time to read all the blogs which I frequent and I am missing that relaxed time so much! I had to hand over my keys to Blondie on Friday and now I feel like I am on holiday because I arrive at work so late in the mornings compared to the time I used to get here. Its all so weird and new for me. But change is good, or so I keep reminding myself. Sometimes it takes a lot of reminding.

Especially when I have to look into the sad eyes of my parents. Knowing that I am going away and wondering who on earth will make them laugh, tell them silly jokes or say ridiculous things when I am gone? I want to hide my excitement because I know they are sad and I don't want to seem glad to go in case they think I just want to get away from them, which isn't the case at all. This is just something that I really have to do. That's all. I will miss them but words cannot express this adequately.

Other than the excitement and slight sadness and in between packing and dealing with my landlady, I am trying to find time to stop and smell the roses and allow the shiny happy person inside me to bubble out and amuse others.

The weather is helping, its sunny and hot and lovely!!! And I have a lot of time now to sit outside since I am not in charge anymore. I don't even have to go out when a client comes if I don't want to but since I just adore most of my clients I always go out for a quick chat :o)

Blondie will be back in a few minutes so I better get a move on here.
Have a great day, everyone and never forget how to be shiny, happy people!!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Catch the Clock!

Hi there Everyone!

Its been a while since I wrote and so I am just letting you know that I miss my daily blogging so much I decided to make time today to write a quick update on what all has been happening in my life since my last post. It won't be long, though :o)

Okay, firstly, I am now working with a girl called Blondie (not her real name!) and I am having to teach her all about the work. She is managing very well and I will be able to leave here without stressing, which is a good thing, especially since I had been worrying about it quite a lot recently. Its rather fun being able to watch someone learning how to do things. I won't say that I am always as patient as I should be as there are times I do get a little impatient but for the most part everything is running very smoothly. I am very proud of how quickly she is learning and I will not have any qualms about leaving now. Although its going to be real hard as I will miss everyone so much!

Just about my whole apartment has been cleaned out now. Just a few groceries left in the cupboard and then one or two little appliances and my clothes and bed. The rest of my stuff is being taken up to the farm in the next lift. So then everything really will be packed up. I move down into the spare room downstairs by my landlady the end of this week. And then just two more weeks and I am leaving on a plane.

Time has flown by so quickly I can hardly believe fact, I don't think I have quite come to grips with the fact that I have everything I need and now I just need to fly...its so weird! My mind and body are still catching up to the idea :o)

Other than that...on to the weather! Its been raining for four days now but the sun is finally coming out and shining again. I am glad as it was quite cold although I like cold weather, its just that all my warm things are packed!

I went shopping with my mom and younger sister and got a few things for the trip and now I am almost completely ready to go. Just need to go and buy travel insurance (???). And I need an international driving license as well. Although it isn't necessary as I can apparently drive with my south african license for two years anyways in England. So its no rush.

Right...well that is all the news for now. I shall try my best to update my blog again soon and not keep you all in suspense!

But for now....


Wednesday, February 07, 2007

In The Company Of....

I never imagined how nice it would be to have someone to work with and how it would just make the day fly by! Its already 1pm and I haven't even noticed yet how the day has gone by. The whole morning has been taken up with teaching the new girl (from now on referred to as Blondie) how to do the invoicing, how to give a client credit if he has been invoiced for too much and making up a new telephone list. We've been organizing things and sorting and then we sat down with sandwiches and coffee and just had a nice long chat. It is so relaxing, so wonderful and I am enjoying every minute of it!
How could I ever have been nervous of teaching someone something? Its fun and I enjoy it. I guess I forgot how much fun it could be.

I used to be a kindergarten teacher for 18 months and I thoroughly enjoyed it. And although I was teaching little kids and now I am teaching a girl two years older than me, its still pretty much the same principle : be patient and let them learn by doing things themselves, just be there for help and advice.

Amazing how similar it is. And I was afraid that Blondie wouldn't like me but we clicked (strange word to use but the only one I could think of right now) right from the start and we get along just fine (like pulverized pepper). Each new day is now a wonderful chance to get to know her better and to teach her something new in this line of work. Blondie has never had a full time job before and so this is all very new to her. I am glad that I am able to show her the ropes and that I have learned enough in the past eight months to be able to show her all the things that the lady who taught me didn't show me!

Its cooking hot today and I am glad that I can get a lift home as I would be a walking shower if I had to walk home in this weather. It was nice and cool this morning for which I am grateful as I needed to the cool air to wake me up after a hard night's sleep. I didn't want to get up this morning as I was just so tired and I have no idea why. My throat has also been giving me problems and I have a permanent pain on the right side as though I had swallowed a needle or something sharp which keeps jabbing into the side of my throat. Wish it would go away but it seems to be getting worse. Very strange. Perhaps I should try sucking throat thingys or something like that. Something to ease the pain. Even swallowing liquid hurts these days, as well as talking. Not that it stops me from talking though :o) Don't think anything could ever stop me from talking!

Oh well, I am back off to finish the schooling now, will write again as soon as I get the chance. I've also been trying to work on a new song but the right words elude me.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Soothing Remedy

Yesterday my nerves were in shreds! I would jump at the slightest sound, get a fright for absolutely nothing and I nearly jumped right out of my skin when the phone rang! I don't know why although I suspect it was because I was so nervous about the new girl coming and then when she didn't come it was like an anti-climax. I found the picture of this little baby on a site whilst browsing and just looking at the face of this beautiful child soothed my shattered nerves and made me smile. Its amazing how children seem to have that effect on me. I was thinking back to my au pairing days and how I really miss being around those children. To me they're all like a gift. Each child is so different and what is inside him/her is unique. It made my job really fun, learning all about each child.

So, the new girl arrives today, supposedly. We'll see if she turns up. Its early yet so she will only be here in about half an hour or so. I always get here early to write mails and so on. I will miss these early mornings. Especially once I hand over the keys to her. Although by then I will be pretty close to leaving so there will be enough for me to do at home.

I spent the evening packing and sorting and my apartment looks as though a bombing squad went through there! I want to tidy up this afternoon after work and see what I can do about all the clothes I won't be needing anymore. I have boxes everywhere with labels on them to say what they contain and then I have cases with jackets and clothes and shoes and kitchen ware. Its going to take at least four trips by car to get everything up to the farm although I think my dad will just come down one day with the trailer and get it all in one go. Would save the extra driving.

Well...its almost time to greet the boss and the new girl. I'll spend the next five minutes staring at the baby picture to soothe my nerves which have become decidedly on edge as the minutes tick on. This is all VERY new to me, I've always been the one being trained...have never had to train anyone before.

Watch this space for more :o)

Sunday, February 04, 2007

New Employee

Brace yourselves everyone...we finally have got someone to work in my place!!! I am so nervous today because I don't really know what to expect and I am not sure if I will even like working with the new girl. Its weird that I am so nervous as I am not normally like this. Its just that with girls I am a bit out of my league, I guess. Most of them usually want to scratch my eyes out or something because of my personality (which they inevitably don't like) or something like that. So having to work with another girl is going to be hard...I'm hoping she's really cool and that we'll get along fine. Hold thumbs!

I don't even know when I will get chance to update my blog again this week but I will try to come in earlier in the mornings so that I can write at least a little something before I have to start work. Its just for this one week and then after that its one week off and then from the 19th until when I leave she will be full time. Its going to be a very busy week...there is so much to teach her! What if she doesn't show up? My boss will just die, I know he will! He's so tired of doing interviews and I don't think I could handle phoning for anymore interviews or getting anymore references. Its bad enough having to sit through the interviews without any hope of a suitable person. I am really hoping this girl turns out to be the right one.

Last night I had two long heart to heart talks and it helped to clear my head and get everything into perspective for me again. I have made a pact with my landlady...this coming month I am going to come home straight after work and we're going to spend some quality time together and I will be able to get my apartment all packed up and ready for the new girl who is going to be moving in the last week this month. Also, I am going to not go out at all this month. I have been feeling progressively worse throughout the last three weeks and have just about stopped eating and sleeping altogether. I am now losing weight like its not funny and have quite a few people telling me I am becoming anorexic (which I am not!!) and that I need to take care of myself. So Mrs. B and I are going to work at getting my diet right again and I am going to make sure I get enough exercise and sleep. And food. I must admit that I have been eating less than half of what I normally eat and am in a permanent state of hunger. Its just that I can't seem to keep the food inside and so I don't want to eat. Just the smell of food is enough for me but I have decided to pull myself together and get my health back on track. I am going to try not to be so excited about the trip because its not helping the eating thing either :o) I am too excited to eat or sleep, my mind is so active I lie awake most nights with eyes wide open planning things. Last week nearly killed me, I was so tired I couldn't see or think straight and made a lot of mistakes. This week is going to be better!

One good thing is that I have someone to work with (oh PLEASE let her be very nice, please please please!!!) and this means a bit of company here at work. It gets very lonely sometimes which is normally the only reason I go out, because I need some company.

Yep...things are just going to get better from here.
What a wonderful day!!!!

Friday, February 02, 2007

Poetry and Passion

Yesterday afternoon something wonderful happened! I got a call from my mother and she said that she had something I would definately want to see. I was standing in the middle of my apartment at the time with just a towel wrapped around me, on my way to shower and get ready for a party. I hurriedly grabbed my bathrobe and pulled it on and then rushed outside to see what it was that was so important. It was a letter. More specifically...a letter from a Christian Poetry group to inform me that my poem had made it through to the finals and that I needed to sign a release form so that they could publish it if I won. When I first glanced over the first page of the letter I thought that I had already won but after more careful scrutiny this morning I found that I hadn't won yet. Of course, there's still hope :o) And I am indeed hoping!
The prize is quite a sizable sum of money and the winner's poem getting published in a book of poetry. I signed the release forms giving them permission to publish my poem should I win and it will get posted this afternoon. I am very excited about it. I never dreamed my writing would ever get anywhere, they were always doodles on pieces of paper and so on. Nobody took my writing seriously...sometimes not even me! And now see where it has gotten me!

In the last couple of months I have discovered a very deep passion for life within me. A joy and happiness in the living that I never had before. Perhaps it was that I got given a second chance at life or perhaps it is just that I finally realise how precious each breath I take is. I think, though, it has something to do with the influence of someone special in my life, someone so much better than me. Someone who makes me want to excel at all I do, to always be better. My appreciation of every day is just so much more pronounced than it ever was before. The passion that lay dormant for so long within me has finally awoken and is now a bubbling, boiling spring of energy that needs to be let out. And I will let it out...when the time is right.

To everything there is a time and a season...