Thursday, December 28, 2006

Its a jungle out there

Today I am feeling very adventurous...for me, this could include dancing home instead of walking, talking more than normal to myself, or having a very indepth conversation with a spider I pass on the sidewalk. Or it could be stopping a complete stranger in the middle of the street, tugging excitedly on their sleeve to make them notice me, then grinning like a mad person whilst telling them in squeaking tones that I will be travelling to England very soon! In fact, it could very well be all of the above, especially today :)

Recently someone I was talking to and discussing my upcoming trip with, looked at me in all earnest concern and said "Sweetheart, you need to watch out, its a jungle out there!! Don't let London change you or make you someone you're not. Always be yourself!" No fear, chum, I ain't about to let anything change me into someone or something I am not. Uh uh, not this farm girl, as far as I'm concerned, I am going to change London! ~evil chuckle~

What are the British going to do with this madcap who talks to herself, holds intelligent conversations with the birds and insects and passing butterflies, not to mention twirling around and dancing for no reason whatsoever. Oh yes, and did I forget to mention my absolutely random thought processes and how I can for no apparent reason start laughing, much to the confusion of passersby? If this little city can't cope with me, how on earth is London going to cope?

I am also determined to make the Royal Guard at least crack a twitch of a smile. Even if I have to stand there for hours relating life stories, reading crazy poetry, or peering deeply under his hat into his eyes. Sometime or other he will crack!!

It might be a jungle out there....but I am fully prepared to meet any dangers it contains in its depth. In fact, I am really looking forward to it!! Look out London and England and all you British....Leeky is on her way!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Momentary Madness...

Well, thankfully my little lapse into self-pity has washed over and I am now back to my normal self. I have made a new resolution, and it is this: I will endeavour not to wallow in a pool of self-pity ever again for it is the most taxing way to spend one's day!

Truly, I am exhausted just from the few hours I have spent pitying myself and wishing things were different. Not different, exactly, but perhaps that time would just fly by. Right now it feels pretty much as though I am standing on a cliff and can either jump off or I can wait patiently for the jet to pick me up and then take me safely to my destination. I've decided to wait for the jet, however quickly I might want to leave and get to my destination. I prefer to "arrive alive" instead of "dead on time".

What a random day this has been so far. I don't believe I have made much sense and I doubt I will make any later on either but at least the lonely feeling has left and in its place I am left with a sort of tranquility that is just hard to explain. I prefer it to the loneliness, though.

Note to self: don't go on self-pity trip, it clocks up the miles and makes you old before your time!


As I sit here in front of my computer, the tears running down my face, I wonder why it is that there has to be something called loneliness in this world. Why is it that at the most unexpected times one has such a deep sense of loneliness that you can't keep from crying out in almost physical agony?

I can't keep the tears from flowing and yet I am not sad, just unutterably lonely, as though I were all alone and there were nobody around. Yet the world is filled with people, and still this feeling persists. Why won't it just go away???

I suppose listening to sad music isn't helping much but I can't bear the thought of pop or jazzy music right now. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.
What a day!

I'm not the happy chappy I normally am, its so strange. I hardly ever get down but today I just can't get on my normal high...
...and the tears keep running. The word is like a refrain in my head, reverberating in my thoughts and through my being like echoes in a cave : lonely, lonely LONELY....

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Three Pigs

I hardly ever go out at night, being a stay-at-home person out of necessity, not want, since I don't have any transport other than my two very trusty legs. Unfortunately, its not safe walking around outside at night on your own when you're a single girl and so I have to be satisfied with the very occasional outing once a month or even less.

Last night, however, I threw caution to the wind and trotted off in a red and black outfit and nearly caused a crash at an intersection I was crossing when a driver was too busy looking at me and not paying enough attention to his runaway car, which was heading straight for a lamp post and the pavement. I trotted on, chuckling all the while, and wondering why it was that being dressed in a long, flowing black skirt with a red sequined top caused so much of a stir. Certainly isn't my looks, I can assure you! Perhaps it is the fact that nobody around here actually dresses like that anymore. I mean, most young girls go out dressed in what they consider groovy outfits of too-tight denims and slinky tops, whereas I wouldn't be seen dead in something like that and prefer to wear a long skirt (hiding the legs and thighs nicely, hahaha!) and a pretty shirt or jacket.
Something so out of the ordinary, it seems, that it caused a great deal of strange looks to come my way. I didn't care, though, I was FINALLY going out somewhere!!

I got to the Theatre, bought my ticket and settled down with a Spin to await the time when I could go and find my seat and watch the show. I was all in a jig about it because I do love watching plays and pantomines and things of that sort, its much more amusing to me than going to the movies or renting a dvd.

At last the music started up and the play began. I held my breath waiting for what was to come next. And onto the stage walked a very large Mrs. Rabbit! I had to stifle a giggle at the sight of those funny ears...nearly collapsed when she pulled out a HUGE rolled up cigar and insisted she have a smoke break, while telling the audience all the while that she wasn't going to light it, of course, it was just the idea of having a smoke break which calmed her rattled nerves. She then regaled us with a story of how the Messrs. Pig kept her so occupied and how she never got any peace with them about. And then she told us about how there was this new architecht who was designing a new house for the three Pigs because the one they stayed in at present wasn't large enough to keep them all. And she mentioned how nice and kind and very charming the architecht laddie was and how he could put his pencil under her drawing board any day. This got uproarious laughter from the audience and this was the cue for her to titter and then tell us about her lovely children but how there were too many of them and so on.
Then off she went and we got an introduction to our Three Pigs. And my, but they were absolutely HILARIOUS! First, there was Plantagenet Pig. He is quite a stuffy sort, always dressed immaculately and speaking very proper! Then there is Percy. He's always wearing white, is very concerned about hygiene and pretty much lives on cosmetics and washes his clothes three times a day. And lastly there is Patrick. He is just too funny for words, total beach bum, walks around in board shorts and loose shirt all day and lives off junk food and surfing. Very laid back and not worried about a thing, calls his home his "possie". To be honest, I developed an instant liking for old the way, did I mention he screams like a girl? Ah...missed that one. He does, though, and it is enough to just make you die laughing!!

Then we were introduced to the architecht and the two fairies that go everywhere on the set, and then also to Mr. Wolf and Mr. Weasel. Mr. Weasel is always drooling and Mr. Wolf is always hungry. These two make such a strange pair and yet it would be impossible to have the one without the other. They try to entice Mrs. Rabbit's little ones with carrots and hot dogs but then Weasel ruins it all by dribbling and pulling out a cleaver from behind his back! Then he tries to mend things by saying the bunnies can get two hotdogs for the price of one but its too late, they've run off. Mr. Wolf then starts ranting and raving and crying and whining and eventually turns on Weasel and yells "It's all your fault! You couldn't sell beer to an Ozzie in the outback!" and off they go, amidst shouts and hoots of laughter from the audience. By this stage I was swiping at the tears streaming down my cheeks for I just couldn't stop laughing. And it had only just begun!!!

I shall skip over the next few scenes, you all probably know the story of the three pigs and how they each go off to build their own house. Well, Percy built a house from perspex, Patrick a house of bamboo and Plantagenet a house of bricks (obviously). then they each installed a telkom telephone (remember the telkom telephone, oh best beloved) and we're onto the next scene.

Wolf and Weasel are crying from hunger. They decide to trap Percy. They knock on his door and call softly (trying the subtle approach) and then more loudly until Percy comes and asks them what they want. Clever (or not) Weasel says they would just like to ask for a cup of sugar. Percy looks surprised and says but he doesn't have more than a little sugar cos he prefers sweeteners. So Weasel says, well then, half a cup will do just fine. So off Percy goes to get a half a cup of sugar and comes back. When he opens the door and steps out Wolf and Weasel jump him...or try to. Percy falls to the ground and Weasel and Wolf end up bumping heads. Then Percy is off back into the house and shuts the door in the enraged faces of his persuers. He then (while Wolf and Weasel build a fire) picks up his telkom telephone and calls the help line. After battling with the operator (a feeling we all know SO WELL) he finally gets put through to his brother Patrick. After explaining he is told to hurry and get out of there as quickly as he can and to run as fast as he can to brother Patrick. Which he does in due course. But first, let me add here that at this point in the play, Wolf tries to huff and puff and blow the house down. Only in the beginning he doesn't get it right because he doesn't have enough air, so he hauls out this little inhaler/asthma pump and takes deep breaths from it and then tries again. When the house falls over, they charge poor old Percy who lets out a high pitched scream and sprays Wolf in the eye with pepper spray and then runs away into the audience, screaming like a girl all the way. Oh my....hang on while I finish laughing...this is just hilarious, the memories! I wish I could videotape it and put it up as a video clip on my blog because its something you just have to see to appreciate!

Right....where was I? Oh yes, whilst Percy is running away from Wolf and Weasel, the audience is going mad with laughter and shouting boo to Wolf and Weasel as they pass by. Finally, after spraying Wolf one last time with the pepper spray, Percy is safe inside the house with Patrick. Next follows a hilarious dialogue between Wolf and Weasel about who should huff and puff next. Meanwhile, Patrick is trying to get hold of Plantagenet but the telkom helpline accidently (oh really?) puts him through to Watsons' Butchery where they advertise pork chops for half price and ham slices on special.
With a horrified shriek Patrick gets the operator back on the line. She apologises profusely and tries to put him through again, this time with more success.
Partick hurriedly explains their nasty situation and Plantagenet urges them to hurry over, just as Wolf and Weasel get ready to blow the house down.
Percy and Patrick each arm themselves with a pie (for the old pie-in-the-face trick) and as the house topples over, they dash out and in passing ram their pies into the faces of their attackers. The audience is by this time hysterical with laughter and amidst shrieks from Patrick and screams from Percy, a chase ensues. Eventually they get away after running through the audience and with all the audience screaming and booing and shouting and making such a racous that the cast couldn't even be heard! What a laugh!

Oh my, have I really written this much already? I think I better stop here...but wait, I need to end with the grand finale...

Mr Wolf tries to break into Plantagenet's house and in the process he loses his tail, and then before he can escape the police pitch up and he and Weasel are led away in handcuffs to await trial.
And in the end, the three Pigs once again employ the help of the architect and this time they build a house with three parts. And this satisfies them all and they then have a housewarming party. To which a certain Miss Piggy is invited, along with Kermit the Frog!

The end.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Pirate playing the Blues

Playing the blues on your guitar
You stole this heart of mine
Captured and took it far away
You left me here to stay

Left me to remember you
And all you mean to me
And yet you left me not alone

For you forgot your heart, you see

I'll keep it safe, I'll guard it well
To return to you someday
The day that we decide to join
Our hearts and lives as one

Pirate of my heart beware
You need to have a care
A Hero you might well be
But you're so much more to me

Monday, December 18, 2006

Traveller to be

Well....well....right now forming thoughts are really hard! I have just heard that I will be able to start making definate plans for travelling to England and I am just so happy and excited. I know that I still have to get there before I can really get excited but I just can't help myself. I have been looking forward to doing a bit of travelling on my own and just getting out and being rather more independant than I am now. And its finally starting to happen! What a great opportunity to really become more grown up and more my own person, to start a new life in a new country, to start a new job, stay in a new place, meet new people and make new friends. I just cannot wait to start packing my bags.

I am rather sad at having to leave my present job as it is truly the best job I have ever had but I cannot possibly miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity and when I spoke to my boss this morning he totally agreed with me. He said that he will be dreadfully sad to see me go and I am the best worker he has ever had but that he understands where I am coming from and that I must just take this chance and he will not stop me. I was very relieved because I have been quite concerned that he would refuse to let me go and really make a fuss about it, but he was very nice about it and I am now relieved, destressed and getting slowly more and more excited as the days progress.

This afternoon I go and see the travel agent and discuss things with her and get exact prices and find out how much money precisely I will need in my account, then its on home for a drink as I think by the time I get off here I will need it!

~sigh~ someone pinch me, do! I can't believe this is finally happening.....after all these years of wondering if it ever will, of thinking it just wasn't meant to be. The best of it all is that I can plan it by myself and that I will be able to start training someone to work here in my place and then still be able to have a bit of a holiday as well before I go over and start work.

So there is a lot to organise but its fun and it will keep my days filled since its the quiet season here at work and I hardly ever have anything to do. It will be a welcome relief to doing nothing but read!!

So wish me luck! I am a traveller to be and I am going to take England by storm, indeed I am!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Peace of mind

I was thinking this morning about what peace of mind actually entails. How does one get it and keep it? I am still wondering about it so I shall use my blog as a sounding board and see if I can work it out.

Perhaps it is knowing that you have no problems, being able to go through each day with no worries, not having to stress about paying bills and things like that. Or perhaps it is knowing you are loved and that no matter what happens you will always have someone to stand by you through all of it and love you despite all the ups and downs. And then I got this idea....what if peace of mind came because of the love and devotion you show towards someone else?

What if the only way to gain real lasting peace of mind was to give of yourself completely and utterly to someone? Not just physically speaking now but like mind, body and soul? What if you could gain complete peace of mind by being so tuned in to the needs and wants of someone else that you forget to worry about your own problems...and in the end your problems turn out to be not problems at all but because you worried about small things and stressed about them, they became problems in your own mind.

If you were to concentrate on making someone else happy, wouldn't that ensure that you were happy as well? making someone else happy is in the end so much more rewarding than trying to get your own happiness...after all, it is more blessed to give than to receive. I believe this with all my heart and have seen how lives have been changed and turned around once people took the focus off themselves and put their focus on someone else.

Well, I have certainly nattered on long enough about my theories. Perhaps one day I will find out exactly what true peace of mind is all about. Until then I shall keep my theory that complete peace of mind is to have strong faith in God and to love someone with all my heart, mind, body and soul.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Lied van Vrede

Die koel wind bring verligting
Na 'n warm somersdag
Ek sit en luister na 'n lied
Die deuntjie in my hart

'n Lied van stille vrede
Vol liefde en geluk
'n Lied wat jy begin het
Die dag toe ons ontmoet

Jy is die sleutel vir my slot
Jy't my liefde oopgesluit
My hart gestop met vonkel oë
Jou lag wat my laat hik

Ek hoor die lied al slaap ek vas
Ek sal dit nooit vergeet
Want sonder dit en sonder jou
Kan ek net nie leef

Die liedjie sal net aanhou speel
Tot na die dood ons skei
'n Lied wat jy begin het
Wat net jy kan begelei

Friday, December 01, 2006

Footsteps in My Life

Have you ever wondered why certain people are or were a part of your life? I was thinking about it the other day and it struck me how all the people who have walked in and out of my life have left their footsteps. Some clearer than others.
My parents have left deep footsteps since they raised me, guided me, taught me and loved me all these years. My sisters have also left unique footprints in my life. Besides family, now, there are others who have walked in and out of my life and have left their mark as well.

My question is just this: is there a reason why all these people are/were a part of my life?

The way I see it is that God makes people a part of your life at that specific time to either help to teach you a lesson, or to give you the helping hand you need, or just so that you can learn to give and share of yourself. And sometimes He just blesses you with that someone special to make you complete.

In my life I have met and been friends with a lot of people. Some of them were only friends with me for a little while and then broke the connection, but in that time I learnt something. Either how to be more diplomatic, how to have patience, how to accept things I cannot change, how to appreciate that which I have...all this and more.
Then there are those people who have been a part of my life for years, whom I have come to know and admire and love. These people are my friends, and without them I wouldn't be here today. When I was at my most depressed in life, God sent someone to cheer me up, to teach me what life was all about. Once I learnt the lesson, and learnt how to be less selfish, this friend moved on. Yet through the years he has still kept in touch. However, now it is time to move on, he has other priorities in his life and besides which, I no longer need him like I did years ago. Things have changed. At the time, however, he saved my life.

And so it goes with each person who has walked into my life. There is a reason for it, a lesson I can learn. I learnt how to share, how to think of others instead of always focusing on myself. And most of all I learnt how to love. Its incredible how much you can learn from getting to know other people, but its also amazing that somewhere out there, someone else is grateful for having met and gotten to know YOU!

Once I thought really hard about this, I figured I needed to make sure that the person other people will meet, is someone that they will be thankful for knowing. I don't want to be someone that is thought back on as just being there to help a person grow in character (hence me being a trial instead of a blessing) and so I started working on myself and changing myself. I used to think that changing myself was impossible, but there are so many little things that I can change, or adjust. One thing I have learnt is that there is always room for improvement!

So, my goal is thus to become someone who can make a positive impact in someone else's life...its certainly worth every bit of work I put into changing and shaping myself. To see someone else happy and content is all reward I could ever ask and its totally priceless!!

My challenge to you is to do the same...become someone else's blessing!