Friday, May 25, 2007

Trolley War

This past week has had its share of weird encounters, frustrating moments and even little bits of hilariousness which helped to make the rest of the week's awfulness just melt away...pretty much like one of those Aero Bubbles chocolates that get advertised on the telly where this hunk of a guy (according to most women although I can't say as how I agree because he just isn't my type and he uses the most corny lines ever!!!) delivers this well memorised load of squat to advertise the new Aero Bubbles chocolate balls.
I digress.

I have just had one of those hilarious yet embarrassing moments which I just had to write about whilst the memory is still fresh in my mind.

I had to go up to the fourth floor to collect some printing that had been done for one of the girls I work with and because there was such a lot, I had to take the trolley. This is never a problem except that this particular trolley has four wheels (don't they generally?) and each one has a mind of its own. I promise you, this thing moves in four different directions almost simultaneously!!! You can't push it, that's out of the question. If you try it turns into a donkey and refuses adamently to budge and you therefore end up kicking your shins on the metal bar above the wheels. After doing this once, you learn quick enough that pushing doesn't work. So you walk in front of it whilst pulling it behind you. Except that if you walk normal pace, the trolley rams up against the back of your heels and this hurts worse than kicking your shins. If you pull it alongside you, it veers off on a tangent and into whichever unsuspecting person might be coming from the opposite side.

So you have to pull it really slowly behind you whilst doing a sort of crab walk and checking that everything is still on it and you aren't leaving a trail of helplessly flailing paperwork behind you.

One other thing I learnt just now was that this trolley has dog - like qualities....never ever let it confront another trolley. I made the mistake of doing that just now put it mildly, it was a disaster! The blush is still busy fading from my cheeks and I feel as though I have just climbed out a sauna. It was really embarrassing, truly! I was walking slowly and crabbily along, minding my own (and the trolley's) business when all of a sudden the trolley took a violent swerve out in front of a guy pushing a trolley at least eight times bigger than mine. The ensuing struggle to get the trolley under control is something I really don't want to have to go through again. The poor paperwork was fluttering and flailing wildly all over the corridor and I could hardly bare to look. It took a lot of self control not to start reprimanding the trolley right then and there in front of all those onlookers (most of whom, I might add, were snickering behind their hands, hair and mustaches). The man pushing the other, now very frightened and distressed, trolley bent down and helped to collect the last of the hysteric papers and then smilingly went on his way.

After that encounter I managed to make it back to the office without anymore encounters, for which I am truly grateful.
Luckily I don't think I will be needing to use the trolley again soon. I have put him back in solitary confinement!

Picture of the Week

Perhaps you ought to think twice before leaving hubby to babysit the kids whilst you go out shopping? ~chuckle~

Monday, May 21, 2007

Pinch me, I'm Dreaming

I have been thinking that I need to put a big sign on my computer which says "WRITE ON YOUR BLOG!!!" However, I do have something to tell now.

On Thursday I found out something which I think I would rather not have known but which I didn't have much chance in avoiding. The teller of this juicy (or not) piece of information is one of my work mates and she found great relish in telling me. I suppose by now you are all on tenterhooks to find out what it was precisely that she told me.
Well, it is merely this.

I work in Corridor 9 of a hospital and my office is located in the old psychiatric ward. I had quite reconciled myself to this fact and even managed to fit in pretty well ever since the porters found me nattering away to the doorstop which I was trying to persuade to keep the door open. The porters hardly ever come down our way now, I wonder if this is because they keep on walking in on me whilst I am talking to inanimate objects?

Anyway, I digress...not only is my office located in the old psychiatric ward, it is also just around the corner from the animal testing wards. Added to this (as though it were not enough!) my office is also situated pretty much just above the local morgue! Pretty gross, eh? Well, you'd think this would be enough to make anyone go completely crackers but we're all pretty normal, I think, in our office. Or perhaps we just like to think we are? :)

Right, that isn't all. You thought it was, didn't you? Well, you're wrong. There is one more thing. Remember the morgue? Well...on Friday there was the most absolutely awful smell coming from down the corridor. I had to open the windows and put the air-conditioning on full just to get the smell out of the office. Oh, don't get excited...that's not all! Apparently someone had per accidentally switched off the plug in the morgue and (sensitive readers stop reading here!) some of the bodies had started decomposing. Totally and absolutely gross, isn't it?!

The news doesn't stop here. On Friday morning I went into work, as usual, only I thought that I had overslept and since I didn't look at my watch (don't ask me why, I just didn't think to do it) I ended up being two hours early instead of two hours late! So there I was, sitting at my desk at 06:30am. I felt such a numnut!
Hang on...ah yes, I was getting to my next piece of news. Around 9am I went down to the post room to collect the post but as I neared it I noticed that there was quite a commotion and there were a lot of security officials milling around looking lost. I toddled over to have a look and found my buddy the postman looking quite distressed. I asked him what was going on he said that when he had opened up one of the post bags and thrown out the post, something had started ticking. Well, whoop-de-doo! That was enough to have me running for my life back down the very long and depressing corridor 9, except that my curiousity got the better of me and so I waited around to find out what the ticking package was. It turned out to be a gadget which was supposed to be hand delivered to one of our testing labs, but whoever sent it was too lazy to get it hand delivered and so popped it into special post. This caused such huge consternation in the hospital reception that it took two hours and five security officials to clear it up. I mean, for all we know it could have been a bomb, seeing as there are animal testing labs and we have a lot of animal rights activists screaming for our blood. I do find it unfair, however, that we poor innocent people merely working in the hospital and not with the animal testing, should get punished for something we are not even a part of.
Right, perhaps I am a little off track here since it wasn't a bomb, but it could have been! And where would we all be then, I wonder? Perhaps not safe and sound at home, that's for sure!

Anyways, it was certainly an interesting week last week and this week hasn't started out too badly. I merely got snowed under heaps of paperwork and tomorrow there is the promise of more.

Forget summer...we're into paperwork winter!!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Written in Ireland

4th May, 2007

Rolling, green lawns. Fields of yellow and skies of blue, dotted with clouds of puffy...errr...poofy...that's it, POOFY white clouds - the sky, I mean, not the yellow fields. Or perhaps they are. You know what, perhaps I just need a large padded room and tranquilisers. Erm...on second though, lets forget the tranks. I am scared of needles.

Riiiiiight.....I got seriously off track there for a second. What is really happening is that I am amongst the Irish for the weekend and I am having such a great time that I've gone cracker-angel. In other words, I have gone completely off my rocker; nuts, bonkers, insanely, inanely, hilariously mad! ~chuckle~ As if you couldn't tell that just from reading the first three lines. I wonder at you persevering through this far already!

The reason for this madness has not yet been made apparent but most people here seem to think that this is just the way I normally am. Should I share the truth with them now or later? Now might not be a good time because they could just decide to refuse to feed me and put me in solitary confinement for the rest of the weekend...TRAGEDY!!!

Seriously, though, the weather is absolutely fabulous and I am so far really enjoying myself. We are a group of 18, three little kids included, and we are split up into three bungalows. The single men are all in one bungalow, the single women in another and then two couples with the kids in a third.


On Friday four of us went to a nearby pub and had a pint of beer. It was really lovely and we had a good laugh. I will post as many pictures of my trip as possible on my next post but I am struggling to get them onto the computer at the moment so I can't put them on right now. They will follow hopefully tomorrow or Monday.
On Sunday we went to Tara Hill and explored the ruins there. I took a load of pictures and have some really great ones. Then we went into the little curio shop and I bought a beautiful necklace with a harp on it made from crystal. My one tourist concession :) Before we went to Tara we did go to New Grange which was quite an experience although I didn't enjoy it nearly as much as running around outside on the hills in the driving rain and ice and wind at Tara. I got quite soaked to the skin and it was just the GREATEST! I love being outside in the rain and the fresh air. Its one of the most pleasurable things in life, to be able to breathe in deeply of fresh air and smell the wet soil and grass and see everything glisten like precious jewels when the sun comes out. Truly beautiful!

The Monday we went to a mall and a museum...hang on, I missed out Sunday evening when we went to a local pub and entertained the local Irish pubbers with songs. The one guy in our group plays guitar really well and our tour guide had organised with the bartender that we could have a sing-a-long in the pub so when we got there we first had something to drink and then got on with the entertainment. Before the evening was out we had some drunk Irishmen requesting songs and shouting for us to sing more and they evening joined in some of the time and they cheered us on as well. When we left they begged us to play just one more song but we had a long day coming up and so we needed to get back to the bungalows to get some sleep.

Monday we went to a mall and a museum and I got to see a brass band performing and there was this hilarious guy on a unicycle who got me and another lady in our group to dance and do the swing right outside on the street in front of the band. And then I tried out a few of my funny faces on the drummer in the brass band and he forgot his place and got completely confused. I couldn't help giggling at that but I didn't interrupt the playing again. Right when they played "Singing in the Rain" from the musical, the rain came thundering down and they had time to play one more song before they got blown away by the very hard winds.
It was just great, though, and I really enjoyed it.

That evening we went to a really old gaelic pub and I got a postcard signed by the co-owner and everything. Totally awesome! She begged the guitarist to fetch his guitar and play and she tried her hardest to get me to sing but we didn't rise to the bait. The only time I sing without accompaniment is when I am working or just when I am really happy. I can't do it on demand, though. We did feel really flattered, though, that she had asked us. We did promise to go back there one day and do a performance for her and the regulars. She said we would be welcome anytime :)

And on Tuesday we flew back home. It was a really bumpy ride and our pilot only learned on the flight over the difference between acceleration and braking! It was really scary and I thought for sure we were going to crash. It was the scariest flight of my life!!!

Well now, that is the long and short of my weekend. As I said before, photos shall follow!

Friday, May 11, 2007

I haven't disappeared...

I am still here, I promise! I have shamelessly neglected my blog these last few days but I have good reason.....I have been in beautiful Ireland :) It was absolutely breathtaking and I enjoyed every minute of it. I shall write about it as soon as I get a chance but right now is not that time. I have food on the stove and a glass of wine which is just asking for attention ~chuckle~

So I shall write and update soon, I promise!