At the most unexpected moments, but always when I need them most, God will send me the encouragement I need to keep on going. This past week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. I saw myself more clearly than ever before and the shocker was that I really didn't like what I saw. I saw someone that was a ghost of my former self and someone who, instead of seeing the positive in things, tended more to seeing the negative. And then, last night, I was invited to a meeting and I went and it was such an eye-opener! The wake up call I needed so badly was dealt out in love and with encouragement that I wasn't expecting. And not only that, but I saw some people I haven't seen in years. I am not really sure what I expected but it sure wasn't to be greeted with such love and affection. They looked honestly thrilled to see me and it brought tears to my eyes and a joy to my heart that I haven't felt for a while now. For the first time in months I felt as though I belonged, I felt safe and wanted and really loved.
Most of all, though, I felt a renewed energy for the walk forward and I was and am determined to really change my life around now. Never before have I felt this incredible burning desire to do that which is right and forsake that which is wrong. Never before have I seen with such clarity all that is going on around me.
The future awaits!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
You held my hand, were always there
You always took me everywhere
Sat by my bed when I was sick
Loved me through thin and thick
I hurt you by what I did and said
Turned my back on the life I led
No words could say what is in my heart
I'm going to make a brand new start
I just wanted you to know today
I never meant for it to be this way
Mommy and daddy, I love you